It seems that western society is finally letting go of the Augustan, Victorian, and Puritan views over sex and relationships. Some people consider that viewing these aspects of our lives from a different perspective is very healthy while others still consider these subjects taboo or at least private. The truth is that both reactions are normal and logical. On one hand, people should explore their sexuality together with their partners so that they can build up a healthy relationship, and on the other hand sex has lost much of its meaning just because of the fact that it was trivialized.
One thing is clear though: sex is a very important part of a relationship. If two people decide to start living together as a couple, they need to know how their bodies react to one another. This is the thing that most people call ‘chemistry’. Chemistry refers to actual chemical reactions that happen in the brains of two people who are in love and who want to have sex with each other. Pheromones, serotonin, and endorphin levels, all have an important role to play when choosing a partner. If the reactions are positive, your brain will know at that point that the person in cause will make a good partner.
Of course, there are people who consider that moral and religious values are more important. This is, of course, a choice that nobody should criticize. However, there are a few risks when choosing to go into a relationship with someone without having intercourse with that person before. All the reactions mentioned above could in some cases be negative. Your body will know that that person is not a good match for you. In such cases people can feel very different reactions to that person, most of which are not sexual. This is, if you may, friend zoning in a nutshell.
Whatever the case might be, sex is a very important part of a relationship. Even if some people consider premarital or casual sex something downgrading, it is actually a good way of filtering the potentially good from the potentially bad partners. There have been situations when couples felt very attracted to each other and decided to not have sex; until a certain point and as soon as they had sexual intercourse their relationship just went downhill. Sex and a relationship should go hand in hand. It is better to realize that the person you are dating is not fit for you from the first week or two than to end up waiting. Semi platonic relationships can only last so long. People might have sneered at Dr. Freud’s ideas over sexuality and relationships but it has been proven time and time again that all these sexual repressions in a relationship only lead to bigger problems like sexual dysfunction or deviations, self-esteem issues, and general bitterness.
It might seem like a bit weird advice and it might also contradict my earlier comment on the trivialization of sex, but if one wants to find his or her significant other, sex needs to be part of the plan from the beginning. After all, sex and relationships are almost a tautology.