A large number of sexologists consider that the problem of the normal as compared to the abnormal sexual behavior is actually rhetoric in its essence. These experts assume that normal in sex is whatever suits a sex couple the best, what makes them satisfied and everything that fits into their specific system of sexual values. Oral sex is therefore a completely normal behavior for a couple, but only if both partners enjoy oral sex. As long as there is respect and responsibility in the sexual relationship, everything is perfectly fine.
However, it is not normal when one of the partners in the relationship does not do this for their own pleasure, but only because of the pressure created by the partner and the fear of rejection. This view applies equally to anal sex, bondage during sex activities, mutual masturbation, the use of obscene words, sex in unusual places, positions and circumstances and all the stunts that have a taste of something that is out of the ordinary. Mutual masturbation may be one of the best sexual stimulation. Don’t you think that female masturbation is very sexy?
Love and sexuality
Another group of sexologists advocates the importance of love as a measure of normality in the relationship between two adult partners. According to these authors, normal sexuality is a sexuality in which one person transmits messages of love, attachment, belonging and warmth to the other partner through sex.
Neurotic or abnormal sexuality, on the other hand, is sexuality in which sex is used as a discharger of accumulated dissatisfaction, aggression and the need to command, which aims at self-assertion or simply as a way in which individuals release their everyday tensions. Normal sexual person makes love periodically, only when they are eroticized by the presence of the person they love and at the same time they take the same amount of pleasure as they actually provide pleasure to their partner.
This viewpoint shows some logical weakness. First of all, there are practically no people who are absolutely free from tensions. Stress, aggressive impulses and feeling of guilt and every individual uses sex to empty these feelings from time to time. On the other hand, a small number of people who view themselves as completed persons and don’t need to prove themselves in the bed. In addition, there are individuals who have sex regardless of the presence or absence of the feeling of love. So, is it possible to determine what is normal and what is abnormal in sex? Not really. The real question is whether you should burden with this problem. It is certainly better to be abnormal in the bed with your loved one instead being normal alone. Being abnormal or creative for a better sexual health is better than a boring sex life.
According to many studies, sex to a greater extent takes place in the minds of women and men than in bed. It turns out, that people between 18 and 22 years, spend more than 5 hours per day thinking about sex. As they grow older this amount of time is reduced, so people between 28 and 35 think about sex 2 hours a day. So, there is nothing wrong with erotic fantasies as long as the person knows how to separate reality from fantasies.