Category Archives: Sex Life Story

What Are the Main Male Sexual Dysfunctions?

Both men and women experience sexual difficulties at some point in their lives. It could be something temporary, resulting from a particular situation that affects our relationship; pressures at work, or circumstances which dismiss energy to our sex life, like being caring for young children or elderly parents. Whether external factors, psychological factors or health problems, if you are experiencing any sexual difficulties described here, you may need medical help and / or psychological, as well as incorporating your partner to treatment.

According to Dr. Helen Kaplan, sexual dysfunction occurs when the reactions in the sexual response or any of its components suffer deterioration. In men, as in women, the first stage of sexual response is the genital vasocongestion, which in this case produces an erection due to congestion of the blood vessels of the penis. The second part of the male sexual response is orgasm, which consists of a series of involuntary clonic contractions of the genital musculature, which is usually accompanied by ejaculation.

Below you will find an overview of the main male sexual dysfunction:

Erectile Dysfunction (Impotence)

It refers to the inability in men to achieve an erection or maintain an erection strong enough to achieve penetration and have intercourse. All men often experience erectile dysfunction at different times throughout their life, and usually common in children and older adults (elderly). On the other hand, it is normal to experience difficulties in achieving a new erection after intercourse or masturbation.

Impotence can have physical foundations and erection is a neurovascular reflex that depends on the correct hormone levels, healthy penile anatomy, adequate vascular supply, and an intact and in good working nervous system. However, researchers agree in saying that the vast majority of cases of erectile dysfunction have psychological causes. Autonomic reflexes governing the erection are delicate and are indeed affected by relationship problems (conflicts of power, deception towards the other) and by emotions such as fear and anxiety caused by traumatic failures in the early sex or severe religious beliefs. However, many other cases of erectile dysfunction are caused by simple and easy to correct emotional factors, such as performance anxiety, fear of rejection of women blame for the sexual enjoyment or excessive preoccupation with satisfaction of the woman.

Sex therapy is effective in the latter cases involving simple causes. For cases of internal conflict or with partner, an additional psychotherapy will be required. Impotence organic or physiological causes require medical attention. However, when making love, the best scenario is that the man is in a calm and free emotional state of conflict, in addition to adequate support from partner, so that their erectile reflexes operate without interference.

Premature ejaculation

Researchers say that a man has premature ejaculation when ejaculation occurs before penetration or few minutes thereafter, where the couple fails to experience pleasure or orgasm during intercourse time. In this sense, experts argue that “a man has a problem of premature ejaculation when during intravaginal introduction, cannot control ejaculation long enough to satisfy your spouse even in 50% of sexual contacts”.

Sometimes rapid exchanges during adolescence sexual condition in men such ejaculatory pattern may persist in other stages of life. Therefore, premature ejaculation is more common in young men with little sexual experience, although it is normal to happen in men of all ages after a long period of abstinence. Over the years, usually man learns to control his ejaculatory reflex enough to satisfy partner and achieve full for both intercourse time.

For some men the ejaculatory control can become difficult. The impact on the relationship is usually high, so it is important to seek professional help and involve in the therapeutic process. Unlike reflex erection that cannot be subjected to voluntary control, a man can usually come halt or delay ejaculation and orgasm whenever he wants. Dr. Kaplan holds that man posing premature ejaculation has not learned to control ejaculation because he is not aware of prior to orgasm sensations. And this happens because you experience some anxiety, for example, sexual performance anxiety, which distracts him at that time. Premature ejaculation is usually easily treated with sex therapy techniques.

Delay ejaculation

The man in this situation may feel sexual arousal and achieve and maintain an erection long yet has difficulty or is unable to ejaculate and experience orgasms while receiving stimuli strong enough. This sexual difficulty is less frequent than the previous two and is analogous to the female orgasmic dysfunction.

The orgasm reflex is normally under the control of the will. However, emotional factors can inhibit it, which results in an unconscious one control excess resulting in the inability to release ejaculation and orgasm. Emotional causes may be different in each person, some face such as performance anxiety, and other deeper as severe religious beliefs and family values, fear of commitment to the partner or fear of pregnant, and as a way to “punish” the couple, among others. Organic causes include diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and use of certain drugs, especially drugs against depression and hypertension. To treat delay ejaculation sex therapy is necessary in conjunction with psychotherapy, for cases with deeper emotional inhibition. The cases of delay ejaculation organic or physiological causes require medical attention. Also must be addressed the relationship because it is fundamental to the success of the therapeutic process and get the man to relax, release control and experience easy and pleasurable orgasms.

Regular Sex Equals Better Health

Sex is a big boost to your immune system. Regular, but moderate sex boosts your immune functions. Translating to the prevention of all kinds of illnesses. Research shows that the increase in sex helps men stay healthy for a very long time.

Facts prove that moderate sex helps you burn up to 150 calories every hour. It can be consider as a mild cardio exercise. Regular sex is known to lower blood pressure. Studies done carried out research on 60 men and women from ages 20 to 60 that engage in frequent sex and studied their blood pressure.

Analysis over a three month period proved that the more regularly they had sex, the more their blood pressure decreased.

Sex lowers frequency of heart attacks: a lot of men are worried that engaging in more sexual innuendo might trigger a heart attack. Well, to some point this analysis is true. But a heart attack during or after sexual activity happens to people who don’t work out frequently.

For individuals that are physically active, sex minimizes risk of suffering from a heart attack. British researchers followed about Welsh men for a record twenty years, and they discovered that men that had sexual activity go up, the more a risk of suffering from a heart attack lowered.

If you are a middle aged man, you should be glad to learn that sexual intercourse that is frequent will offer you some shield against a heart attack. Healthy heart improve sexual performance again.

Regular sexual activity pushes away Prostate cancer: For a period of eight years, researchers drawn from different medical research centres, conducted research on orgasms and prostate cancer risks.

The research focused on thirty thousand men ranging from the ages of 46 to 81.

The research came up with findings that; as the frequency of the orgasm went up, particularly for men during their twenties, risks of suffering from prostate cancer later in their life decreased significantly.

When compared to men who had only seven ejaculations monthly in their twenties, men who ejaculated more than  21 times in their twenties were 35% less likely to suffer from prostate cancer in their later life and restore erectile function.

Sex helps in relaxation: Quality sex associated with having your whole body massaged. Enjoying regular good sex relaxes you deeply and reduces stress levels. Deep relaxation is also a remedy for several ailments such as; arthritis, pain, heart disease, asthma, depression and high blood pressure, erection disorder.

Regular sexual activity with a loving partner comes with a host of benefits such as trust and satisfaction that helps your sexual prowess prevail.

Why Is Orgasm A Mystery For Some Women?

While orgasm is not the only purpose of sex and sexual activity, many women are burdened with the idea that orgasm must necessarily be achieved. This pressure complicates the ability to achieve orgasm in many women. There are many other reasons why orgasm is a real mystery for some women and the following is shortlist of some of these reasons.

  1. She doesn’t know how to achieve an orgasm

There are many women who never masturbate or they do this only when they are lying on their stomach when the orgasm is affected more by the things that go through their head and less by the mechanical movements (because the hands are actually covered by their stomach). However, if a woman knows and can bring herself to orgasm the cause lays elsewhere which means she should check some of the other factors.

  1. Her partner is not spontaneous

Unlike men, most women cannot relax immediately when they are with their partner. This is especially the case when the partner is new or when they feel tired for some reason or burdened by all sorts of worries. Instead of fury and fuss followed by words of dissatisfaction, calming the situation always works. Try to lie down next to your partner, hug her passionately and ask her what you can do to help her. If she says that everything is fine and you don’t need to worry then don’t do anything. Once she becomes a little bit relaxed and she realizes that she is perfectly safe in your arms, tell her that you find her very sexy, that you like her and kiss and hug her for some time. It is very important to add more intimacy in your relationship. Try to relax her and help her eliminate the feeling that she has to achieve orgasm.

  1. She simply cannot relax

Many men or women think that they are successful when it comes to sex only if their female partner reaches orgasm. However, sometimes reaching orgasm is too forced and many women consider their eventual orgasm to be some kind of responsibility. This is why many women pretend to have an orgasm. In this way they try to make the other side feel more capable, better and more comfortable and they should know that this is not a very good idea.

  1. The partner doesn’t know what he’s doing

Many women consider this to be a big problem, but the truth is that this problem can be easily solved (unlike some of the other problems). If a woman normally manages to achieve orgasm and she can’t achieve orgasm with you, try the following tactics. Make her touch herself in front of you and say that this image really turns you on and that she looks very sexy. After a bit of looking, help her out. You can use your finger to enter the vagina while she is stimulating her clitoris. You can use your tongue to lick her finger used for stimulation. You can try to imitate her movements and ask her if she feels comfortable and does she want more or less touches. In other words, be a part of the game.

Female Ejaculation

Even today, when sex is no longer a taboo and all the information regarding sex is available on the internet, only a small number of people is familiar with female ejaculation. Even the old Indians who lived few thousand years ago knew about female ejaculation. Unfortunately, many modern men and women have only heard about it, but they are not sure if this type of ejaculation actually exists. In tantric yoga, the ancient eastern practice that combines spirituality and sexuality, the fluid ejaculated by women is called amrita or divine nectar. This fluid in the vagina is which occurs during sexual arousal comes from many sources – Bartholin and Skene’s glands, which are located at the crossroads of the opening of the vagina and vulva and the walls of vagina during sexual stimulation. Properly stimulated women during sexual intercourse experience a rush of fluids in the vagina and this fluid is usually discharged during orgasm.

All those men who wonder whether the feeling of female ejaculation is similar to their ejaculation should know that these feelings are not similar because female ejaculation is much stronger. Many women and men look at this ejaculation as some kind of achievement. Men are really proud because they believe if ejaculation occurs then they were especially good in the bed. But, this is the moment when we need to point out that the mechanism of female ejaculation is not physiologically identical to male ejaculation. Female ejaculation doesn’t even have to be (in fact it often isn’t) associated with orgasm, but more with great excitement and stimulation of certain body parts. So, female ejaculation is not necessarily a guarantee of a stronger, better, longer and more intense orgasm, although it usually means greater excitement. Now let’s see how this work in practice.

The “recipe” is actually very simple. If you want to make your partner ejaculate during the sexual intercourse, stimulate and excite her, but don’t let her reach an orgasm. Of course, you need to be aware that this procedure is much easier in cases when the partners are together for a long period of time. Some modern women are frustrated because of a variety of reasons that they are ready to grab the first orgasm offered to them and they tend to be very dissatisfied if you stop doing the things that suit them, change the pace or something similar. Many people view women as climbers that slowly but surely climb to the peak. This means that women are able to reach an orgasm only when they are certain that they can reach it. This is the only time when they are relaxed enough.

It is good to point out that there is no universal rule. Each woman requires individual approach. Before you start this journey when you have time and will, when you are well rested and never create pressure on your partner by saying that this is the night when she will ejaculate strong. Keep in mind that female ejaculation is not something that can be planned, it doesn’t happen every time and if sometimes doesn’t occur this doesn’t mean that your partner is less satisfied.

Safe Contraception Options: Who Should Use Protection

Who should use protection, men or women? It is an interesting question. Sex, contraception options and protection are mutual responsibility. Both men and women should know how to choose the right method. Both of them should think about their own and their partner’s health and well-being. It is not enough if one partner is responsible: both parties should know how to prevent pregnancy. Safe sex is not a matter that you can shrug away, saying that your partner is on the pill and it is not your problem. Contraception pill may not solve sexual problem and not forget about the side effect.

Honesty, Trust, Contraception Options and Your Health

Is your partner honest with you? Does your female partner tell you that she takes birth control pills – and is it true? Probably she has side-thoughts and she thinks it is time to settle down and have a baby, so she has just “forgotten” about her birth control pills. Maybe she is the happy-go-lucky one and she has skipped one or two days, so now both of you are at risk of an unwanted pregnancy. Has your male partner told you that he has undergone vasectomy, so he is perfectly safe for you; but what about sexually transmitted diseases? Would your partner tell you if they had some minor infection? Do you know your partner well? Are you in a serious relationship, based on trust? Are you into one-night stands or short-lived relationships? These questions are not moral issues. They have a lot to do with your health. Never leave protection to your partner! Whatever he or she says, make sure that you do your best to avoid an unwanted pregnancy or an infection. Has he had a vasectomy? Is she on the pill? Great. You should still use protection. Combined contraception options are safe. If he did have a vasectomy, you still can take your birth control pills and ask him to use a condom.

Prevent Pregnancy: Choose the Right Method

While hormonal contraception is unbeatable when it comes to avoiding unwanted pregnancy, do not completely dismiss barrier methods. Condoms protect you from sexually transmitted diseases, and even some kind of cancers like cervical cancer.

Prefer male condoms over female condoms. Male condoms have a lowest failure rate of the barrier methods. Use a condom with spermicide. Never restrict your protection methods to female condoms alone! They have the highest failure rate of all birth control methods (with the exception of coitus interruptus, the withdrawal method). For instance, diaphragms are not reliable when you want to avoid pregnancy. Neither do they protect you from the diseases of the upper genital tract.

The safest way of having sex is when both partners use some kind of protection. For women, combined oral contraceptive pills, implants, combined injections, intrauterine devices are the safest methods, and, of course, the irreversible methods: hysterectomy, tubal ligation, and essure. They should also insist on using a condom. For men, vasectomy and lubricated latex condoms will be the safest way (make sure that you use water-based lubes and avoid oil-based lubes that may damage the condom). They can use plastic wrap when giving oral sex to their partner. Oral sex may seem safe, but it can lead to ugly surprises – for instance, human papilloma virus that can cause serious sexual health issues.

What is Psychological Erectile Dysfunction and how to overcome them?

The psychological reasons for the problem of erectile dysfunction are responsible for about 10-20% of cases of erectile dysfunction. In most cases it is a secondary reaction to a primary cause. Psychological causes may be due to child abuse or related to bad sexual experiences and traumas. The main factors of psychological erectile dysfunction are the following:

Stress: It may be related to stress from work, stress for financial reasons, or even because of marital problems and discussions.

Anxiety: From the time that erectile dysfunction occurs first, the man is very worried that it may happen again. Thinking so will lead to “performance anxiety” – the fear of not satisfying your partner which causes erectile dysfunction almost without fail.

Feeling guilty: The man may feel guilty for not satisfying his partner.

Depression: The most common cause for erectile dysfunction is depression that affects a man both physically and psychologically. Depression can be the cause of erectile dysfunction even when a person feels comfortable in sexual situations. The medications and drugs that are prescribed to treat depression may also cause male impotence.

Low self-esteem: Self-esteem may be due to a previous episode of erectile dysfunction that makes men feel inadequate or due to other non-sexual trauma.

Indifference: Indifference may be the result of an age or diminished interest in sex, which may be the result of medications or due to marital problems between the couple.

Many men suffering from erectile dysfunction or impotency, has the problem for many years. This problem can worsen over time because psychological factors may begin to increase. In these cases, there is a strong tendency to avoid sexual contact and create feelings of anger, helplessness or disillusionment with the companion fails to inspire.

However, there are some exercises that the person suffering from this problem can do for his or her partner. These are divided into three steps:

a) First step: In order to rediscover, the couple should bet on strokes in different parts of the body except the genital region, to arouse the desires of the partners. This stage can last as long as necessary for the couple.

b) Second step: In this step, make more intimate contacts, being allowed to touch the genital region. This step can also last as long as necessary for the couple feel at ease.

c) Third stage: In this stage the penetration can occur, but must respect the time and mode of each partner.

When it comes to the conclusion that the patient is suffering from psychological erectile dysfunction, it is recommended a consultation with a sexologist should be done as quickly as possible for the person to start the treatments.

Activ Homme Can Help Men To Finally Overcome Erectile Dysfunction

When a St. Louis, Mo. man realized, at the age of 24, that he had problems attaining and keeping an erection, he knew there was something physically wrong.

57-year-old Steve Thompson has suffered with erectile dysfunction for the majority of his adult life. He said many people viewed the issue has a psychological problem, thinking it was just too uptight or didn’t know how to properly have sex. Thompson said these folks, not once, considered the fact that there was a physical problem – maybe something wrong with the circulatory system.

Due to his unrelenting problems and aggravation with erectile dysfunction (ED), Thompson had problems dating. His urologist, who he Thompson had been seeing for 15 years, prescribed all kinds of oral erectile dysfunction medications – Cialis and Viagra to name a couple – but no medication worked for the 57-year-old. Finally after years of trying other methods, Thompson decided to speak with a sexual medicine specialist.

And, this is where he found relief from ED.

Thompson’s specialist decided to run some blood flow tests and discovered something other doctors had missed: due to a buildup of scar tissue, the arteries in his penis were blocked. The specialist recommended, in 2007, that Thompson try Activ-Homme. The results Thompson got made him happy.

In fact, for the first time since his mid-20s, Thompson could get and keep an erection for a full 60 minutes. His doctor showed Thompson how to carefully inject the drugs himself so there was no need for a doctor’s visit each time he wanted to engage in the sexual act.

Has Thompson injected the drugs himself yet and had sex? Not yet! However, he’s eager to try it. He said some people will take a toothbrush with them on a date. He said when he goes on a date, he brings a vial, syringes and swabs.

Is Sex Without Penetration Possible?

When someone mentions sex we usually think about penetration. However, it is good to know that sex is not limited only to penetration and the only questions is – can you imagine sex without penetration?

Most people understand sex as a contact between male and female genitalia. In other words they equate sex to traditional vaginal sex. This is supposed to be real sex when we talk about the diversity of sex because people always try to find out new sex positions. The rest is considered to be only comfortable additions like solo or mutual masturbation, oral and anal sex and even cyber and phone sex. Even the term foreplay used to describe the period before vaginal sex is “telling” us that the main act is the vaginal sex – that this is the real thing. This human fixation and preoccupation with certain sexual behavior can cause frustrations in many people, because there are periods in every individual’s life when they have decreased interest in that kind of sexual activity. Take long relationships as an example. Sex can become boring and perhaps one of the partners is suffering from depression or some other emotional difficulty or maybe he or she has pains during the sexual intercourse. These situations are especially common in women during pregnancy or after gynecologist surgeries. So, is it possible to have sex during this period? Experts believe that it is possible to have other forms of sex.

For example, touching can arouse anyone, but we see this act as a part of foreplay. But remember the old days when you were a teenager and how you felt when the person you liked touched you. You instantly felt aroused all over your body. Those were the first steps of exploring your body and your partner’s body from its sexual side. This is a sexual technique that can be used in any age. Focus on touching. Kiss, fondle and explore every part of your bodies. Many people use essential oils and body lotions for massage in order to increase the sensation. You will soon find out that the fingers can lead you to equally strong orgasms.

Many people forget how sexy words can be. There are a lot of people that are aroused when their partner or they whisper in the ear of their partner while some people like to yell and talk dirty things so they can enhance the feeling.  Words are actually really strong tool when it comes to sex. If you are unable to have sex (due to injury or maybe because you are separated) words can easily make you reach orgasm.

Verbal communication is only one type of communication. People can communicate even without talking or touching. People usually feel when their partner is angry, happy, anxious or relaxed just by sitting next to him or her. It takes just a simple look in their eyes to find out how they feel. Sometimes, staring at each other can cause rush of hormones that can lead to strong orgasm. Mix this staring with touching and talking and you will be able to reach powerful orgasm without penetration.

Slowing Down Ejaculation during Sex

When it comes to dealing with sex, most men are a little shy, thankfully, there are a few simple techniques that one can do to avoid an instance where premature ejaculation overrides you coitus session.

The good thing is; these are techniques that we can do by ourselves and we shall be able to learn how to cure premature ejaculation and give our women a ride for a lifetime! Below are two techniques that will electrify your sexual stamina.

Controlled Rhythmic Breathing

When you are making love to your lovely lady, most times, there is just very little that you can usually do regarding your heartbeat and also breaking a sweat. Fortunately we have discovered that if you are able to tame your breath, then you can regulate your heartbeat and sweat glands!

The next time you are about to engage in coitus, just gauge the frequency in which you have sex and how deep is your breath every time you penetrate and pull out. When you have the chance figure out the breathing patterns between different arousal intervals.

Breathing correctly is a critical things especially when you are looking to be in control of your excitement at the same time be in a position of holding back your ejaculation.

The correct breathing technique helps you properly understand the stage of excitement you are at and this helps you control the number of breaths you take as well as the length in time you will be able to hold your breath.

Awareness of The tension Muscle

We all know that if we become tense during coitus our sexual performance in bed will be affected severely. Tension affects our sexual performance in two ways;

Techniques: there are some sexual techniques that we use in the bedroom that not only make us tense but also hasten ejaculation.

Mental Anxiety: when we are anxious, it will not take long to reach ejaculation and within two minutes or less we are done with the sexual escapade.

Whatever reason may have caused us to suffer from tension, it really pays when we realize the levels of tension and at what intervals we experience the tension as we engage in sexual activity. First and foremost it is important to take note of the muscles that clench at certain arousal stages.

The realization will help you understand the muscles in play when your arousal has hit climax.  If you are looking to put an end to premature ejaculation, you will do all it takes to realize when at certain arousal stages you clench lower back muscles, muscles in the arm and legs as well as chest muscles.

The next step is to try and breathe in deeply and holding your breath during these arousal stages and you will be able to maintain your excitement and this translates to lasting longer in the sack and rocking your lady’s world!

Conclusion

Just like everything else we do as men, the above two sexual techniques will take effort and time to yield desirable results. The goo thing is, by continuous practise, you will eventually learn how your body functions and every time you reach a certain sexual peak, you will now be in a position of controlling the stimulation that comes.

How can partners match their sex drive?

If you are a sexually active person in a longer relationship you’ve probably had periods when your partner needs to sleep but you want to have sex or vice versa. This situation can last for a longer period and the good thing is that you can try to change it and match with your partner’s sex drive.

Today’s fast paced lifestyle often makes us feel that we have lack of time and energy for sexual intercourses but in the core of this issue there is something else. In many cases people forget the periods when they didn’t have such high sex drive but when they feel like having sex they get really frustrated if their partner refuses them. In those moments many people start to wonder if the sexual tension and desire is gone and the days when they were having sex almost every day are long gone. This is partially true because over time the passion fades but this certainly doesn’t mean that you should forget about passionate sex.

Luckily there is always a solution for problems like these. In most cases you are currently not matched with your partner’s sex drive. This is not an unusual situation and the fact is that you have probably never matched your partner’s sex drive but the feeling of exploring a new partner and the heated hormones were radiating sexuality all the time. After a while the initial enthusiasm gradually disappears and both partners are back to the level of sexuality when they didn’t know each other. On top of that, sexuality often oscillates because of certain everyday obligations, events and mood. Many experienced sexologists are sure that sexual incompatibility is something completely natural in long-term relationships.

Just like any other solution to psychological problems the problem can be resolved by admitting that you have a problem with matching the sex drive. The best thing to do after acknowledging that problem is to have a honest conversation about it. Lack of proper conversation can lead to misinterpretations and serious problems in the relationship.

First and foremost, try to understand that “sex drive” is a term that can be completely different for you and your partner. Every person is different and there are also huge gender differences. Women usually need a number of factors in place in order to start the sex act, while men can start with the intercourse immediately if they are feeling aroused, regardless of the situation. It is also important to understand that sometimes sex drive can be encouraged. So, try to start foreplay or some other simple things like hugging and kissing that can lead to sex. Stress is one of the main reasons for sexual incompatibility and that’s why you should find a way to relieve that stress. Some physical activities or meditation can be very helpful.

All experts in this field agree that improving the relationship through better conversation, shared activities and bonding can solve this problem in most of these cases.