Tag Archives: sexual excitement

Disorders of sexual preference

Disorders of sexual preference are sometimes known as paraphilias. A sexual preference can be said to be abnormal by three criteria.

1 Most people in a society regard the sexual preference as abnormal.

2 The sexual preference can be harmful to other people (e.g. sadistic sexual practices).

3 The person with the preference suffers from its consequences (e.g. from a conflict between sexual preferences and moral standards).

Doctors may be concerned with these conditions in three circumstances: they may be asked for help by the person with the abnormal sexual preference; they may be approached by the sexual partner; or they may be asked for an opinion when a person has been charged with an offence against the law—for example, exhibitionism or a sexual act with a child.

Disorders of sexual preference are divided into (i) abnormalities of the sexual ‘object’ and (ii) disorders of the sexual act. The aetiology of these conditions is not known, and the various theories will not be discussed. They may, however, be associated with the presence of other disorders, including depression, alcohol abuse, and dementia. Treatment is described after the descriptions of the disorders.

Disorders of preference of the sexual object



In this condition, an inanimate object is the preferred or only means of achieving sexual excitement. Almost all fetishists are men and most are heterosexual. Among the many objects that can evoke arousal in different people, common examples are rubber garments, women’s underclothes, and high-heeled shoes. The smell and texture of these objects is often as important as their appearance in evoking sexual arousal. Some fetishists buy the objects, but others steal them and so come to the notice of the police. Sometimes the behaviour is carried out with a willing partner or with a paid prostitute, but often it is a Solitary accompaniment of masturbation.


Fetishistic transvestism

In this condition, the person repeatedly wears clothes of the opposite sex as the preferred or only means of sexual arousal. It can be thought of as a special kind of fetishism. Nearly all transvestites are men. The clothing varies from a single garment to a complete set of clothing. Cross dressing nearly always begins after puberty. At first, the clothes are worn only in private; a few people, however, go on to wear the clothes in public, usually hidden under male outer garments, but occasionally without precautions against discovery. A few transvestites wear a complete set of female garments; the condition then has to be distinguished from Trans sexualize. The essential difference is that transvestites are sexually aroused by wearing the clothing, while transsexuals are not.



Paedophilia is repeated sexual activity or fantasy of such activity with prepubertal children as the preferred or only means of sexual excitement. Most paedophiles are men. Few paedophiles seek the help of doctors; those who do are mostly of middle age although the behaviour has often started earlier. From the ready sale of pornographic material depicting sex with children, it is likely that paedophilic fantasies are not rare, although paedophilia as an exclusive form of sexual behaviour is infrequent. The child is usually above the age of 9 years but prepubertal, and may be of the same or opposite sex to the paedophile. The sexual contact may involve fondling, masturbation, or full coitus with consequent injury to the child.


Disorders of preference of the sexual act

The second group of disorders of sexual preference involves variations in the behaviour carried out to obtain sexual arousal. Generally, the acts are directed towards other adults but sometimes towards children (e.g. by  some exhibitionists or sadists).



In this condition, sexual arousal is obtained repeatedly by exposure of the genitalia to an unprepared stranger. Nearly all exhibitionists are men. The act of exposure is usually preceded by a period of mounting tension which is released by the act. Usually, the exhibitionist seeks to shock or surprise a female. Most exhibitionists fall into two groups. The first consists of men with inhibited temperament who generally expose a flaccid penis and feel much guilt after the act. The second consists of men with aggressive personality traits who expose an erect penis while masturbating, and feel little guilt afterwards. In Britain, exhibitionists who are arrested are charged with the offence of indecent exposure.

When exhibitionism begins in middle or late life the possibility of organic brain disorder, depressive disorder, or alcoholism should be considered since these conditions occasionally ‘release’ this pattern of behaviour. In other people, the exhibitionism may start during a period of temporary stress.



Voyeurism is observing others as the preferred and repeated way of obtaining sexual arousal. Most voyeurs are inhibited heterosexual men. Some voyeurs spy on couples who are having intercourse, others on women who are undressing or naked.


Sexual sadomasochism

Sadomasochism is a preference for sexual activity that involves bondage or inflicting pain on another person. If the individual prefers to receive such stimulation, the disorder is called masochism. If the individual prefers to administer such stimulation, the disorder is called sadism.

Beating, whipping, and tying are common forms of such activity. Sometimes the acts are symbolic and cause


Management of disorders of sexual


All cases of this kind should be referred to a specialist if possible, although the referring clinician should first cassess the problem as follows.



The first step is to identify the problem and record its course. The second step is to exclude any mental disorder which may have released the sexual behaviour in a person who previously experienced sexual fantasies but did not act on them. It is particularly important to seek these causes when the abnormal sexual behaviour appears for the first time in middle or late life. The third requirement is to assess normal sexual functioning since one of the main aims of treatment is to strengthen this. Whenever possible the patient’s sexual partner should be interviewed. If normal sexual behaviour is inadequate, appropriate treatment is given.

Next, an assessment is made of the role of the abnormal behaviour in the patient’s life. As well as providing sexual arousal such behaviour may be used as a way of coping with loneliness, depression, or anxiety. If so, the patient should be helped to find adaptive ways of coping with these states.

Finally, motivation for treatment is assessed. Often the patient has been urged to attend by another person, usually the partner or the police. In such cases the patient may have no wish to change. Other patients seek help when they become temporarily depressed or guilty, either because the sexual behaviour has caused a problem, or because of some other reason. Such people may lose their motivation quickly when their mood returns to normal

Few Hot Body Spots on a Man’s Body

Both men and women have hot body spots, but the truth is that men unfortunately don’t have so many erotic points on their body as women. Some experts suggest that with the right way of touching, almost any part of women’s body can produce wild and sexy sensations. One of the reasons for that is the fact that women know and understand their body a little better than men. Moreover, some men claim that the only part of the body where they can feel sexual excitement when a woman touches them is their penis. However, the truth is that men can become excited in a matter of seconds even without a single touch. Men are visual creatures so they can sometimes get excited more from the things they see than anything else. This is one of the reasons why many men love sex with the lights on. Nevertheless, women need to find out more about the touches that can make their men feel ecstasy.

Many women complain that there is not enough foreplay and that men want to get into real action once they get rid of the clothes and underwear. But, have you ever wondered whether you have your own part in this situation or not? Are you really actively participating in the foreplay? If you are honest and you are not really active it is definitely time for some changes. You can always learn something new about male’s body even if you know your partner very well. Of course, we are talking about male erogenous points. The more obvious zones/points are the foreskin, glans penis, lips, buttocks, nipples and neck. This is something that most women know and that’s why we will present few less known erogenous zones which even your partner may not know about.

For example, only a small number of women and men know that the forearm can provide an exceptional experience and pleasure. The outer (upper) part of the forearm in men is extra sensitive because of the presence of small hair. The smooth underside of the forearm is filled with tense muscles that require stimulation and relaxation. If you want to stimulate this area place your hands on his forearm – fingers on the lower part of the forearm and the thumbs on the upper part. Use your fingers to gently massage the forearm. The combination of physical contact and relaxation will encourage your partner to continue with more intimate contact.

Another good way to stimulate your partner is the area located inside of the thighs. This is another very sensitive area and stimulating this area almost never fails. Spread his legs apart and starts with a massage that starts from the knees and ends near the penis. In this way you will direct the flow of blood to the penis and enhance the arousal. Your partner will get a really strong erection after few minutes.

Finally, you can explore the lower back area located just over the line between the buttocks. A strong massage will please any man. Just make sure that you tell him that you won’t do anything else back there but a massage in that small area. Once the procedure is over your partner will feel relaxed and more flexible which is certainly important for a good sex session.

Sex after a Traumatic Event

In case you have experienced some really serious events in your life like diseases, child birth or maybe you’ve lost your job it seems that sex is the last thing on your mind. This is quite natural at the first moment but what if this situation remains? Trauma can temporarily shut down the chemical signals that trigger excitement and sexual desire in our body. However, these negative effects are only temporary and there is a way to restore the desire to have sex but they depend on the traumatic event that you have experienced.


When you are diagnosed with a serious illness, no one expect that you will be ready for intimacy until you are fully recovered. When that day comes, you may not be physically ready and that’s why you need to ask your doctor how long you will feel the consequences of the disease and its treatment. It is very important to talk with your partner and to keep an emotional bond between two of you. In this way you will realize that your relationship is good despite the fact that you miss the sexual excitement at that moment. The most important thing is to completely eliminate the disease. When the doctor says that you are completely healthy you can start working on your libido, especially if the disease is related to your reproductive organs.


You are up all night changing diapers, you have stitches in your intimate area and your system is still recovering from the pregnancy – all these things are big turn off for many women. Besides all the physical changes that women are experiencing in this period they also witness some emotional changes too. They have more responsibilities because they are mothers now. The vagina is a birth channel and the breasts are “tools” for breastfeeding. But despite all these extreme changes, you can find a way to normalize your sexual life too. For many women a simple touch is a good start toward foreplay. Don’t forget to hug your partner, hold your hands together and kiss each other even if you are holding your baby. Once you are ready to leave the baby to a babysitter or someone close to your family try to create time for intimate moments and enjoy the time spent with your partner.

Medications – Sexual health

Medications used in cases of diabetes, depression, blood pressure, heart diseases and other types of diseases can affect your sexual desire (most often in a negative way). If you notice that these changes are radical you can always ask your doctor and find out whether you can blame the medications you are taking. While you are consulting your doctor ask if he knows some other efficient medication that you can use as substitution. If there is no alternative to the medication you are using try to change your sexual practice and find other ways to enjoy sex. You can spice up things by changing sex positions or even use some sex toys.

How to increase Sexual Excitement

People that are in a relationship for a short time are usually crazy about each other; all the time spent together is fun, intense and beautiful. But after a while the excitement is gone although it looks like the couple is in love even more than before.

Excitement that we feel at the beginning of the relationship is caused by the exciting feeling of unknown and unexpected because the person that we don’t know that well, but looks beautiful to us, can easily surprise us. Of course the routine that comes after awhile has its benefits; because we must admit that the excitement and stress that we feel at the beginning can be devastating for our health if it lasts for years. This doesn’t mean that people should not do something different occasionally in order to rise the levels of adrenaline in their systems. These are some of the things that you can do to increase the sexual excitement in your relationship

  • Fear can be helpful

When we experience fear the levels of adrenaline raise and this state can be compared to sexual arousal. The symptoms are the same – the heart is beating faster, we sweat and almost all our senses are activated. It is no wonder why people practice extreme sports in order to feel alive. Controlled fear is excellent for good sex, so if you don’t like extreme sports try something other that can boost your adrenaline – visit some theme park or something else but most importantly do that with your partner.

  • Be bold

Younger people enjoy swimming naked during night time when there are no people around but there is a possibility that someone might see that. The excitement that anticipation brings is amazing.

So use your imagination and try something similar even if you are older, take nude photos of your partner while you are in an elevator, begin the foreplay at the cinema etc. People often forget how this kind of “fooling around” can stimulate sexual excitement.

  • Reveal all the secrets

People become closer when they talk about the most intimate things about them and even if you are with the same partner for a long time there are always things that you forgot to tell or maybe you were to scared to tell. This could be an excellent game of revealing secrets; you should start first by revealing one secret then it would be your partner’s turn. Those secrets don’t have to be something important; a simple small lie can do the job.

  • Recreate your first date

You probably remember many details of the day when you first met your partner. These memories alone bring pleasant feeling every time. So maybe it’s time to recreate that first date. Try going to the same place where you first met each other and start acting like you don’t know each other. Introduce yourself and start flirting. This role paying is very interesting and can lead to real eruption in your bed!