Tag Archives: sexual life

Sexual dysfunction – Facts and Symptoms

It is difficult to establish the prevalence of sexual problems in the population because of the difficulties involved in carrying out surveys of people’s sexual behaviour. The commonest kinds of problems presenting to a sexual dysfunction clinic are,

Women

Low sexual desire 50%

Orgasmic dysfunction 20%

Vaginismus 20%

Dyspareunia 5%

Men

Erectile dysfunction 60%

Premature ejaculation 15%

Delayed ejaculation 5%

Low sexual desire 5%

The assessment of sexual dysfunction

Patients with sexual problems initially often complain about other symptoms because they feel too embarrassed to reveal a sexual problem directly. For example, a patient may ask for help with anxiety, depression, poor sleep, or gynaecological symptoms. It is therefore important to ask routinely a few questions about sexual functioning when assessing patients with non-specific psychological or physical symptoms.

In a full assessment, the interviewer should begin by explaining why it will be necessary to ask about intimate details of the patient’s sexual life, and should then ask questions in a sympathetic, matter-of-fact way.

Whenever possible both sexual partners should be interviewed, at first separately and then together.

The assessment should cover the following issues.

  • Has the problem been present from the first intercourse, or did it start after a period of normal sexual functioning? Each partner should be asked, separately, whether the same problem has occurred with another partner, or during masturbation.
  • The strength of sexual drive should be assessed in terms of the frequency of sexual arousal, intercourse, and masturbation. Motivation for treatment of sexual dysfunction should be assessed, starting with questions about who took the initiative in seeking treatment and for what reason.
  • Assess each partner’s social relationships with the other sex, with particular reference to shyness and social inhibition.
  • Enquiries should be made about the partners’ feelings for one another: partners who lack a mutual caring relationship are unlikely to achieve a fully satisfactory sexual relationship. Many couples say that their relationship problems result from their sexual problems, when the causal connection is really the reverse. Tactful questions should be asked about commitment to the partner and, when appropriate, about infidelity and fears of sexually transmitted disease, including HIV.
  • Assess sexual development and sexual experience, paying particular attention to experiences such as child abuse, incest, or sexual assault that may have caused lasting anxiety or disgust about sex.
  • Enquiry should be made about homosexual as well as heterosexual feelings.
  • In the medical history, the most relevant things to look for are previous and present psychiatric and chronic physical disorders and their treatment, pregnancy, childbirth, and abortion(s), and use of alcohol or drugs, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).
  • In the mental state examination look especially for evidence of depressive disorder. Physical examination is important because physical illness often causes sexual problems Physical examination of women may require specialist gynaecological help. Further investigations may be necessary depending on the findings from the history and examination (e.g. if diabetes is suspected as a cause of sexual disorder).

Sex sighs as a sign of a sexual pleasure

Sex sighs are sounds made by both men and women during the sexual intercourse but they are more often present in women. Many men believe that the volume if this sighs actually shows the strength of orgasm and arousal in women which is wrong.

In case you didn’t know, female orgasms are a little bit more complicated than male orgasms and it is practically invisible. This can lead to wrong impression when we are trying to decipher the body signals in a woman’s body. For example, it is almost impossible for men to be sure if their female partner is faking orgasms or not. This is only possible in cases when men know their partner’s body very well and in details. Another thing that is really hard for men to interpret is the intensity of the orgasm that their partner has experienced. If your partner is barely audible during orgasm and during some other sexual intercourse she is loud and “emits” sex sighs this doesn’t mean that she had a strong orgasm only in the second case. For example, in many cases the strongest orgasms are so intense that women simply cannot make any sounds or even produce a sigh. They start breathing only when the vaginal spasms loosen.

Some men determine whether they are good lovers or not depending on the sex sighs their partners produce. The louder their partner is the more self-confident they feel. This is what provides consciousness in porn actors because their partner with a loud moaning “describes” a good sexual experience and the audience is assured that she is very excited. Of course, there are men that find sex sighs and loud moaning very stimulating and they enjoy sex even more. According to many studies there are women who get aroused and very excited when they are listening to their own moaning for better sexual pleasure.

Furthermore, there is no doubt that there are many couples today who want to spice up their sexual life by using various erotic toys and accessories. The experience of using these toys and accessories is probably less enjoyable for those men who are usually surprised by the loud sighs and screams their partners have when they are using some of these toys. Once again, you should know that there is no room for any worries. The volume doesn’t mean anything, so forget about all the theories that sex toys can be a danger for you and that you can be replaced by some toy. This high volume is usually a result of the fact that the woman knows that someone is watching her. In these moments women easily live up in the role of real naughty individuals which is certainly not an indicator of the intensity of an experienced orgasm.

A woman that has lived all her life with silent orgasms (either with the help of a partner or through masturbation) will probably find difficult to get rid of this habit. In case you wish your partner is a little bit louder you can do few things that can encourage her to be louder – talk to her, change the room, change the ambience etc. You will need to put some effort for better sexual health.

Sex after a Traumatic Event

In case you have experienced some really serious events in your life like diseases, child birth or maybe you’ve lost your job it seems that sex is the last thing on your mind. This is quite natural at the first moment but what if this situation remains? Trauma can temporarily shut down the chemical signals that trigger excitement and sexual desire in our body. However, these negative effects are only temporary and there is a way to restore the desire to have sex but they depend on the traumatic event that you have experienced.

Disease

When you are diagnosed with a serious illness, no one expect that you will be ready for intimacy until you are fully recovered. When that day comes, you may not be physically ready and that’s why you need to ask your doctor how long you will feel the consequences of the disease and its treatment. It is very important to talk with your partner and to keep an emotional bond between two of you. In this way you will realize that your relationship is good despite the fact that you miss the sexual excitement at that moment. The most important thing is to completely eliminate the disease. When the doctor says that you are completely healthy you can start working on your libido, especially if the disease is related to your reproductive organs.

Childbirth

You are up all night changing diapers, you have stitches in your intimate area and your system is still recovering from the pregnancy – all these things are big turn off for many women. Besides all the physical changes that women are experiencing in this period they also witness some emotional changes too. They have more responsibilities because they are mothers now. The vagina is a birth channel and the breasts are “tools” for breastfeeding. But despite all these extreme changes, you can find a way to normalize your sexual life too. For many women a simple touch is a good start toward foreplay. Don’t forget to hug your partner, hold your hands together and kiss each other even if you are holding your baby. Once you are ready to leave the baby to a babysitter or someone close to your family try to create time for intimate moments and enjoy the time spent with your partner.

Medications – Sexual health

Medications used in cases of diabetes, depression, blood pressure, heart diseases and other types of diseases can affect your sexual desire (most often in a negative way). If you notice that these changes are radical you can always ask your doctor and find out whether you can blame the medications you are taking. While you are consulting your doctor ask if he knows some other efficient medication that you can use as substitution. If there is no alternative to the medication you are using try to change your sexual practice and find other ways to enjoy sex. You can spice up things by changing sex positions or even use some sex toys.

How to Talk to Your Teen about Sex?

Talking about sex with a teenager has never been and will probably never be easy. However, the good thing is that the times are changed and this topic is slowly becoming something that is not so unpleasant to talk about and it is no longer considered to be a taboo in the modern family.

Probably the biggest reason or this is the advance of media (especially the internet). Young people today have almost limitless access to various information regarding sexual life and sexual health. However, if you are a parent you can’t skip talking about this topic with your teenage children just because they can learn about it on the internet. It is very important that you point out to your children that you are the first person that they should talk with if they have any questions, dilemmas and problems related to sex. Regardless of the strength of the relationship between you and your children and the trust you have in each other, sex is a topic that is very serious and intimate so you should be very careful about how you start this conversation.

Before making this conversation you should be prepared about the possible questions that your child may ask. Take your time and don’t make this conversation in a hurry. It’s probably the best to ask your teen what he or she already knows about sex. This will lead to a more pleasant atmosphere and you might be surprised how many or maybe little things about sex your kid knows. Use straight language when you talk about sexual organs and other terms related to sex to avoid confusion and make the conversation more serious. Besides the physical aspect you must also talk about the emotional side of sex. This is the biggest problems in today’s teenagers because even though some of them understand almost everything about the physical aspect of sex they don’t understand that sex is much more than that. It is important to point out that you support them and you know how mature they are and that your advice to them is to wait until they turn 18. Starting sexual life just because your friends are starting too is wrong and this is what they need to know.

Although this conversation should not be intimidating you must mention topics such as sexually transmitted diseases (std) and pregnancy because these two things are very often linked with sex. Explain the importance of being a parent and the responsibility that parenting brings. You should also explain how unprotected sex can cause various sexually transmitted diseases and how using protection (condoms) can help. Throughout the conversation encourage your kid to ask questions and make sure he understands what you are talking about. In order to bond closer, you can tell him about your first sexual experience.

Finally, this conversation with your teenage daughter or son should be friendly and a talk between equal individuals and it should certainly not look like a lecture!

How to have great sex

In some cases, people have all the necessary things for great sex – they are alone, have pleasant music in the background and they just had a light dinner with a bottle of wine but it looks like there is no eruption of passion. What does this mean?

There is no need to panic because of that because maybe this is a period (a day or a week and in some cases a whole month) when you or your partner don’t care about having sex. This has nothing to do with love, you or your partner just doesn’t want to have sex and that’s completely normal. However if this situation lasts for a longer period, few months, it’s time for some action.

Many experts in this field say that we should not pay attention to the sex that’s described in the media because that sex appears to be perfect. Everyone is always in the mood for sex and they reach orgasms without a problem. Many people watch that and think that there is something wrong with them or their partner. Never compare your sex life with the sex life presented in the media. We all witness incredible and passionate sex but we can rarely see a movie or TV show where some of the partners has a bad breath or maybe some stomach problems and this is something that can happen to anyone. Sex in the real world is far from ideal and doesn’t always end with an unforgettable orgasm. But don’t worry, sex is more than an orgasm, sex also includes foreplay and the moments when you site with your partner after the sex act is finished and you bond even more together. If you think that your sex life is bad there are few things that you can do.

Even if the other aspects of the relationship are perfect, that doesn’t mean that the partners will be sexually compatible. Some of them needs more intimate moments, some of the partner might want more frequent sex etc. It’s so much easier at the beginning when there is more energy and passion but overtime that passion is lowered which is once again completely normal. One of the things that can help in situations like that is communication. Not all of us feel comfortable talking about sex. Some of them fear that they could hurt their partner’s feelings. However, it’s better to talk than to remain silent and let the problems pile. Of course, always be careful about what you say, for example think about the things that you would like to experience instead of things that you didn’t like when you had sex for the last time. Start conversations and see what happens in the next period.

If communication doesn’t change anything, you should try some changes in the sexual act. Try different positions, change the environment, and spice up things!

If you and your partner are both physically and mentally healthy individuals who care for each other you will definitely find a solution for your sexual life. You will have better sex only if you want to and by regular practice you will achieve perfection.

Erectile dysfunctions and medical examination

A lot of men that have certain erectile dysfunctions are afraid to go to a doctor because they feel embarrassed and some of them even feel scared because they don’t know how the medical examination looks like. There is nothing embarrassing with having some kind of erectile dysfunction and there are doctors specialized in this field. When it comes to the medical examination there are few things that are performed on every patient so once you read about them you will feel more comfortable before visiting your doctor.

Erectile dysfunctions can hurt the self-esteem in men. The fact that the only way to diagnose and start treating those dysfunctions is by visiting a doctor can cause additional stress. Sitting in the hospital, uncomfortable examination, medical equipment, injections, being hospitalized are all things that can create additional stress in an already frightened man. But this is only one way to look at these things. The diagnosis and the process of healing can progress without stress, especially in cases when you know what to expect. If you are suffering from some kind of erectile dysfunction you must talk with your partner first because this type of condition can cause a lot of problems. Every woman would be concerned if her partner stops having sex with her without explanation. After that you should go to a doctor.

Once you are at your doctor’s office you must be prepared to tell everything to him without using complicated words. You must be completely honest. The doctor will ask you questions that can be very intimate and related to the course of the illness up to that date, taking drugs, your sexual life, when did you notice the first problems, how is your erection functioning, how long does it last and some similar questions. All these questions are necessary in order to set the right diagnosis. After this verbal communication, the doctor will examine you physically. The doctor will look for any unusual signs in your physical appearance. For example, increased breasts indicate hormonal imbalance. Of course, your testicles and penis will be thoroughly examined. Different signs can indicate different conditions. Curvature of the penis indicates the presence of Peyronie’s disease. The insensitivity of the glans penis usually means nerve injury. The doctor will also take some blood and examine it, focusing on the amount of fat, creatinine and liver enzymes and in cases of hormonal imbalance he will check the testosterone levels too. He will also take a sample of your urine.

Another set of tests tries to determine whether the erectile dysfunctions are related to some psychological problems. For example if you are having nocturnal erections this is almost always linked with some sort of psychological problems because the blood flow in your penis is obviously normal. Today there are sophisticated scanners used in the hospital but you can also use them at home while you are sleeping in order to determine if you have nocturnal erections.

After the diagnosis is set, the doctor will select the appropriate treatment for you.

Sex and diabetes

When people find out that they are suffering from diabetes, sex is probably the last thing on their mind. Diabetes is a very serious disease and patients that have diabetes have to think about a lot of things like their diet, weight, sugar level etc. Because of that many people put their sex life aside but that is wrong because sex can be very helpful when it comes to health. Of course diabetes can make your sex life worse but is up to you to find a way to improve the sex life and the good thing is that there are many ways to make it better.

Because of the disease many people have lower blood circulation in the genital area, which means less sensibility and excitement in that area. According to few researches, diabetics have trouble reaching orgasm because of that and because they often experience changes in their mood. Certain things that you found interesting and exciting can now be useless. The feeling that you had when you had orgasm might not be the same. This has nothing to do with the attraction between you and your partner and reaching a strong orgasm might be a difficult task. That’s why you need to find something that you have never tried before, something that will stimulate you in order to achieve a strong orgasm. Don’t be disappointed because this quest might last for awhile.

During this whole process, don’t forget to measure the level of sugar in your blood. In this way you will feel more confident. Keeping the right level of sugar in your blood will certainly improve your sex life. In order to achieve that level you should take care about your diet. Increase the intake of vegetables, fruits and cereals and stay away from carbohydrates.

Another thing that you should take care of is pH balance in your vagina, because increased levels of sugar in the blood can damage this balance and cause vaginal infections. Increased pH levels eliminate the bacteria that keep your vagina healthy and without them all sorts of inflammation, fungus and infections occur.

Exercising is something that can help you lessen the symptoms of diabetes and improve your sex life. Exercising every day for 30 minutes can do miracles. It will strengthen your heart, improve endurance and flexibility and most importantly increase the blood flow in all parts of your body including the genital area. You don’t have to perform some intensive exercises; a simple walk in the park can do the job at the beginning.

Some say that the mind is the most important sexual organ. The way you think can affect your sexual life, sex drive and arousal. Instead of thinking about your disease and thins that you need to do, focus on your partners’ scent and movement. During the sexual intercourse, think only about that and nothing else. If you can’t focus start talking with your partner, tell him (or her) what you want or ask him/her what he wants. In this way you will calm your thoughts and release your fantasy.

Exercising for better sexual health

Many pregnant women and women that recently gave birth notice changes in their sexual life caused by physical, hormonal and emotional changes during pregnancy. Some of these changes can be spotted by women who lack physical activity too. Poorer quality of sexual life can have serious consequences on th quality of the relationship with the partner but the good news is that these potential problems can be avoided.

The truth is that there is a direct link between regular exercising and sexual satisfaction and you can significantly boost your libido with it.

By strengthening the muscles of the whole body, especially the abdominal and pelvic area and improving the cardiovascular fitness and readiness, will positively affect the sexual health in women. Performing exercises with higher number of repetitions with ease or with higher workloads gives a feeling of safety and health and strength that every woman that experiences these feelings can use them in order to be satisfied and happy in her daily activities and het sexual life too.

Irregular exercising or complete inactivity raises the levels of stress in general and makes daily activities hard and difficult to perform. That is why exercising is so important when it comes to improvement of health. Even the regular sexual activity, at least the one that satisfies both of the partners, can be considered as an exercise too.

Every exercise that is performed in the right way and possibly with an assistance and observation of a professional trainer improves the physical status of the woman. This physical improvement can be later used in the sexual life. Persons who rarely have any sexual intercourses and do not practice exercising regularly or at all suffer from lack of stamina. Besides that, without regular exercising the risk of getting vaginal infections increases and women that are entering in the phase of menopause are risking additional changes of their libido and increased pelvic floor muscle relaxation.

In these situations women often complain that they lack sexual desire, they feel less attractive to their partners or because of weight gain they are not satisfied with their look. When health reasons are excluded, every woman should consider the motives for having sex, which doesn’t mean that sex should be avoided but it means that it should be connected to the benefits for her health. After a month of regular sexual activity woman begin to feel changes in their bodies, better control of the muscles especially in the pelvis and the pelvic floor as well as better hormonal support which eventually leads to greater sexual desire. As you can see it is a chain reaction.

Regular exercising can boost the libido because women feel more confident when they can dominantly and precisely control the sexual intercourse because of the stronger pelvic floor muscles. In this way they can also be sure that their partners are satisfied too. The feeling of satisfaction and having healthy hormonal balance which is provided with regular sexual intercourses will be guaranteed!