Tag Archives: sexual relationship

Is There a Secret Formula to Determine the Right Time for Sex?

For every man and woman who are not into serious relationships, the dating scene is commonly seen as an arena where either you tame a lion or lose the lion.

There is a common question that every person in the dating game asks: “Where can I really take it to the next level? “Is it immediately after the first kiss? Do I have to wait two weeks to replenish the angelic taste of the heavens in the earth? Or is it too early for a steamy make-out session?” According to experts, there is no such thing as a formula for the right time to have sex.  However, you can time it perfectly.

The key for knowing when to step it up is to be patient, either you intended to plunge into a serious relationship, or just a short term sexual relationship. An early penetration to the sacred holy cave can lead to undesirable consequences, whether interfering emotional attachments or gaining physical burdens. A serious condition may even cause inability to maintain a hard erection. Of course they may also boost libido and sexual desire, give you the ‘sexifaction’.

In either party, it is possible that one may assume that sex implies a commitment, and you may not see it at that way. That’s why having an honest conversation with yourself is as important as discussing it with your partner. Everyone should know their boundaries before starting to date, either by physical or emotional boundaries.

It is imperative that you really want to rock the hell out with the attractive sexy body of your partner, but you need to make sure that your brain, heart, and sexual organ are ready. And even before reaching that point, think about your sexual boundaries even before you had that first drink.

Once you’ve decided your sexual boundaries, you need to “Christian Grey” up. You should be honest with your date, and you owe your partner regarding your intention. If it’s only a one-night stand, say it. It may not be always perceived goodly, but it will minimize future disappointments. And if you feel like you’re as sexy as Ms. Grey, then yeah, print a contract.

Being patient will also save you from later practical problems. We’re all aware of the spreading STD (sexually transmitted diseases) casualties and unwanted pregnancies, and by taking it slowly you are lowering your risks to face these unfortunate situations. If you and your partner have sufficient awareness regarding STDs and unwanted pregnancies, then it will indeed help to establish sexual boundaries. And we all know that creating those imaginary lines will help you in your sexual escapades.

Sex will indeed change things between two people. Nonetheless, having two bodies as one can incorporate future responsibilities. And that’s why determining the right time to have sex is very critical. Nonetheless, men and women can undeniably ignore the fact that sex is great, but we must be ready to face consequences.

In the end, the most important factor is to know your sexual boundaries, as discussing it prior to the big bang with your partner will lead to a better ending. Either intending to have a serious relationship or not, you need to be wise. And in these times, a bulky brain is better than a having or causing a bulky tummy.

Sexual behavior: What’s normal, what’s not

A large number of sexologists consider that the problem of the normal as compared to the abnormal sexual behavior is actually rhetoric in its essence. These experts assume that normal in sex is whatever suits a sex couple the best, what makes them satisfied and everything that fits into their specific system of sexual values. Oral sex is therefore a completely normal behavior for a couple, but only if both partners enjoy oral sex. As long as there is respect and responsibility in the sexual relationship, everything is perfectly fine.

However, it is not normal when one of the partners in the relationship does not do this for their own pleasure, but only because of the pressure created by the partner and the fear of rejection. This view applies equally to anal sex, bondage during sex activities, mutual masturbation, the use of obscene words, sex in unusual places, positions and circumstances and all the stunts that have a taste of something that is out of the ordinary. Mutual masturbation may be one of the best sexual stimulation. Don’t you think that female masturbation is very sexy?

Love and sexuality

Another group of sexologists advocates the importance of love as a measure of normality in the relationship between two adult partners. According to these authors, normal sexuality is a sexuality in which one person transmits messages of love, attachment, belonging and warmth to the other partner through sex.

Neurotic sexuality

Neurotic or abnormal sexuality, on the other hand, is sexuality in which sex is used as a discharger of accumulated dissatisfaction, aggression and the need to command, which aims at self-assertion or simply as a way in which individuals release their everyday tensions. Normal sexual person makes love periodically, only when they are eroticized by the presence of the person they love and at the same time they take the same amount of pleasure as they actually provide pleasure to their partner.

This viewpoint shows some logical weakness. First of all, there are practically no people who are absolutely free from tensions. Stress, aggressive impulses and feeling of guilt and every individual uses sex to empty these feelings from time to time. On the other hand, a small number of people who view themselves as completed persons and don’t need to prove themselves in the bed. In addition, there are individuals who have sex regardless of the presence or absence of the feeling of love. So, is it possible to determine what is normal and what is abnormal in sex? Not really. The real question is whether you should burden with this problem. It is certainly better to be abnormal in the bed with your loved one instead being normal alone. Being abnormal or creative for a better sexual health is better than a boring sex life.

Erotic fantasies

According to many studies, sex to a greater extent takes place in the minds of women and men than in bed. It turns out, that people between 18 and 22 years, spend more than 5 hours per day thinking about sex. As they grow older this amount of time is reduced, so people between 28 and 35 think about sex 2 hours a day. So, there is nothing wrong with erotic fantasies as long as the person knows how to separate reality from fantasies.

Ejaculation problems

Orgasm in men is accompanied by secretion of semen. Many men simply cannot imagine how it looks like if they can’t experience ejaculation. Almost every culture in the world has attributed special meaning and symbolism for this bodily fluid and consequently the loss of ability to ejaculate semen was considered to be a clear sign of weakness. In addition, there are many men who are facing the problem of so-called premature ejaculation. There are several types of ejaculation problems and ach of them should be observed separately and carefully. The most common problems with ejaculation include:  anejcaulaton, retrograde ejaculation and premature ejaculation.

Anejaculation

Anejaculation is a term used to describe a situation where the men cannot secrete sperm. It can be caused my physical and emotional difficulties and disabilities. In most cases, anejaculation doesn’t mean absence of orgasm. Psychological anejaculation may be occasional or permanent and complete. Ocassioanlly means that the man can ejaculate in some situations while in others he is completely unable to do that. In most cases this doesn’t depend only on the situation, but it also depends on the person with whom the man is building a sexual relationship. Situaitonal psychological anejaculation can be seen during masturbation – many men ejaculate during masturbation, but they can’t when they are having actual sexual intercourse. Stress can significantly affectorgasm,  the occasional anejaculation. On the other hand, physical anejaculation may appear due to certain neurological damages. One important factor is the appearance of diabetes.

Retrograde ejaculation

Most men become aware of their problem only after their notice that their orgasm is not accompanied by secretion of fluid. Retrograde ejaculation means absence of sperm and not absence of orgasm. Male orgasm can still be felt with the same level of intensity as before. There are many different reasons that lead to this situation. For example, retrograde ejaculation can be caused by medications or certain surgeries in the abdominal area (especially close to the area where the reproductive organs are located). Retrograde ejaculation can come as a result of certain diseases like diabetes for example. There are also people who are trying to learn how to achieve retrograde ejaculation. This is a technique used by some men who want to prevent pregnancy, while others use it in order to prolong the duration of the sexual intercourse. However, it is good to mention that by using this technique intentionally you risk to damage the nerves in the area between the testicles and anus which are essential for sexual satisfaction.

Premature ejaculation

About 30% of men (between 18 and 60 years) are suffering from premature ejaculation. This occurrence is not measured only with the time of ejaculation, but it also includes some other factors like reduced control over the ejaculation, decreased satisfaction during the sexual intercourse etc. in the explanation of the causes of this problem, the first sexual experience very often play the biggest role. The basic advice from the experts for men suffering from premature ejaculation is to talk with their partner. If the problem doesn’t go away for two or more years then it is good to visit a doctor and ask for help.

How to Overcome Erectile Dysfunction Performance Anxiety?

The sexual performance anxiety is a widespread psychological distress among most men, who are subject to an increasingly competitive and less tolerant cultural pressure with sexual failure.

Female sexual emancipation and the complaint by women the right to a fulfilling sex life, encumbrances men in relation to the expectations of the sexual act, which has been developing an anxiety in relation to their performance.

Male sexuality is very sensitive to disturbances and psychological component as performance anxiety which may affect the ability to live a satisfying sexual relationship, which results in sexual dysfunction such as impotency, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.

How to overcome the problem of performance anxiety?

It is reported that performance anxiety can be resolved through yoga, meditation and various relaxation techniques.

The truth, unfortunately, is that anxiety about sexual performance decreases only when man begins to have positive sexual experiences, able to regain confidence and self-esteem necessary to take control again.

This can happen in young patients naturally, as more experience is gained. If, however, performance anxiety has deeper emotions which cause psychological problems, a therapy may require in order eliminating psychological barriers that prevent full sexual life.

However, it remains self-evident that satisfactory sexual occurrences are the basis of positive experience; so that more and more doctors recommend the use of medication to treat erectile dysfunction to increase sexual self-esteem and reduce performance anxiety right from the first dose.

What is the relationship between performance anxiety and premature ejaculation?

During intercourse man suffers an increase of tension when it reaches the muscles of the penis it leads to climax – leading to contraction of the penis and ejaculation. Like all other muscles of the human body, the penis is also subject to pressure in case of stress or anxiety performance.

This means that men who face a sexual relationship in a state of anxiety have a greater tension in the muscles of the penis from the beginning, which leads them to ejaculate sooner than intended.

Unfortunately, performance anxiety is a psychological disorder that increasingly experiences the sexual life negatively, causing the man to fall into a vicious cycle, leading to unsatisfactory results.

Only young people feel performance anxiety?

Young men are more likely to feel anxious about sexual performance, since they have less experience and control over their sexuality.

However, the fear of being judged by your sexual performance, fear of physical pleasure or doubt about not meeting the expectations of the partner, may make performance anxiety a serious problem in older men.

Health Benefits of Having Sex

Sex no doubt brings pleasure to your senses and helps in lighting up your mood. It has a positive effect on your thinking; these facts are known to all. Any person who is familiar with sexual relationships in life will know these facts buy personal experience. But did any one of you know that sex can benefit your health in certain surprising ways. Since sex involves physical implementation therefore, your body will experience a stimulation resulting in a positive effect on you.

Sex intensifies the immune system

According to renowned sex experts, people who are sexually active tend to have comparatively fewer sick leave. Though you will have to follow a disciplines life to maintain a healthy immune system but still then, having sex at regular interval will help you develop an even stronger immune system. Having sex enriches the body with higher level of antibody, protecting your body against the attacks of the diseases causing germs and viruses. According to a study conducted on Wilkes University of Pennsylvania, students having sex, twice or thrice within a week haven proved to be more immune compared to those who have lesser number of sexual experiences within a week.

Increases libido

If you are experiencing problems of lower libido then, have sex often can help you solve your problem. Once you start having sex, you will come up with ideas of having better sex, which will positively help in boosting your libido. Most of the doctors and sexologists will agree on this method. In case of the women who are suffering from the problem of lower libido, sex will increase the lubrication of the vagina, the blood flow in the pelvic muscles will also be increased thereby making you feel sex better, and which will leave you with craving for more sex every time.

Intensifies bladder controlling in women

According to study, three out of every ten women will suffer from uncontrolled bladder at some point of life. Having orgasm during sex causes contraction and expansion of the pelvic muscles, acting as a work out to strengthen the pelvic floor, thereby helping in keeping the bladder in control.

Keeps blood pressure under control

Having sex helps in controlling the blood pressure. Many of the researches conducted on the patients suffering from high blood pressure have proven this fact. Having sex often controls the systolic blood pressure that is the first number in any blood pressure test report.

Good form of exercise

Most of the physicians consider sex as a helpful type of exercise. Though it would not help you in losing calories like the one that you can do though a treadmill, but sill a considerable amount of calorie can be burnt by this physical pleasure. While having sex you will be able to lose five calories per minute, it also helps you in pumping more blood to your heart. Moreover having sex increases the estrogen and testosterone levels in the body that helps in controlling diseases like osteoporosis and lowers risks of heart attack.

Sex Toys and Sexual Health

Many people consider sex toys to be potentially hazardous for our sexual and our general health too. Those who are strictly against sex toys usually point out few things about sex toys and claim that sex toys are not good, that they are not good for our sexual health, sex life and of course that they are not very moral. The truth is that there aren’t really any reasons for this attitude and a lot of experts have proved that sex toys are not dangerous for our health. However, there are some situations in which sex toys can bring potential problems and dangers. After all they are physical products and just like any other product if they are not fulfilling some standards or if they are not used in a proper way they can cause certain problems.

The first concern of those who oppose sex toys is that they can cause physical injuries. However, there is no evidence that regular sex toys can cause this kind of injuries. The injuries might occur if the sex toys are used in an improper way or used for something that they were not intended for. If you are using the sex toy by following instructions there is almost no way to end up injured.

Another concern is that these sex toys are toxic or that they are made of toxic materials to be more precise. This concern is objective because some manufacturers use a material called phthalate to produce various sex toys. This material is very useful because it serves as a softener for the plastic making these toys very flexible. However, these phthalates (plasticizers) can bring negative effects to newborn children especially male newborns and these effects have already been confirmed by many researches. That’s why you should check the materials used for the sex toy and avoid those who have phthalates in them.

We can often read or hear about how using sex toys can lead to practicing unnatural and unsafe sex acts. Furthermore, according to these moralists, people who use sex toys are usually perverts who have odd view on sexuality and sexual relationships and they are prone to violence in sex. This is simply not true and those who say that have a view based on prejudices. Sex toys were used even in ancient times and there was nothing unusual about this practice.

Using sex toys can provide great pleasure but overusing them can bring some problems. If you notice that because of the increased use of sex toys your relationship is starting to fall apart or if you notice that you are getting distant from your partner it is the best time to leave the sex toys for a while. A lot of people that overuse sex toys cannot achieve orgasm without them.

For example, vibrators can cause using the feeling of pleasure in arousal with lower intensity compared to those of the vibrations cause by the vibrator. That’s why you should take pause of using the vibrator every once in a while. Besides these few things that we have mentioned there are no other negative effects of using sex toys. Improve your sexual health may give you and your partner better relationship.

The link between sexuality and fears

Sexuality is one of the aspects of human life that causes a lot of attention. The attitude toward sex, determines the way we perceive ourselves and others and it also helps us understand the meaning of life and death. That’s why sexuality is interesting for many scientific and non-scientific disciplines and recently there is a whole new discipline that deals with it called sexology.

In this article we will explain one problem that occurs often in sex, a problem that can interrupt the whole sexual relationship. We are talking about sexual fears.

Fear is a feeling that, in most cases, brings negative effects to every life activity. When we talk about sexual communication, fear can be fatal because it attacks the essence of good sexual relationship through different forms like – shyness, tension, discomfort and even jealousy and hate which are mostly driven by fears. Thus sexual communication between partners becomes a source of burden and bitterness, instead of pleasure and satisfaction, and they themselves may begin to lose their sense that they are actually sexual beings which eventually leads to loss of self-esteem and life optimism.

The following are the most common situations that occur because of fear:

–      Both partners are not discussing anything related to sex although they don’t have trouble communicating about anything else. The root of this problem goes in the childhood and the way one or both of the partners were raised. They probably never talked about sex with their parents.

–      Lack of communication between partners while they are having sex. This happens as a result of lack of confidence. The partners usually think that what they say might sound funny to the other partner and they will end up being ridiculed or mocked.

–      The fear of using “dirty” occurs when the partner thinks if spicing up the sex act with some of those words might be considered as vulgar by the other partner.

In addition to these situations, which are the most common situations, there are many more that are caused by fear of open sexual communication and can lead to hidden or open conflict between the partners. Over time, this leads to dissatisfaction and intimate separation of partners, they become more introverted and finally it can completely ruin the relationship.

Besides problems linked with sexual communication there are other types of fears like: lack of self-esteem when it comes to physical appearance, sexual performance and fear of failure, fear of exploitation, fear to express emotions etc.

History of sexuality and everyday practice clearly demonstrates the harmful effect of fear in sex life. We have presented the basic manifestations, while their combination leads to the classic sexual problems such as impotence, frigidity, premature ejaculation, masochism, etc.

Sexual problems caused by basic fears or a combination of these basic fears can be solved with a good therapist and strong will and desire of both partners. Without these fears sex life will become what it is supposed to be – one of the greatest sources of personal happiness and optimism.

The Causes and Treatment of Infertility

Unfortunately pregnancy, maintenance of pregnancy and giving birth to a healthy baby can be very difficult for some couples. Average healthy woman has 20 to 25 percent chance to get pregnant during each cycle and more than 80 percent of fertile couples will successfully conceive a baby in a period of one year if they have regular unprotected sexual intercourses. Unlike them some couples are faced with lots of challenges when it comes to conception.

Infertility is considered to be an inability to conceive after more than a year of regular and unprotected sexual intercourse. It is estimated that just over 10 percent of women of reproductive age have trouble conceiving. Both female reproductive system and male reproductive systems can cause this unpleasant situation and sometimes the problem lies in both of the partners. After a specialist research and treatment of both partners nearly 35% of couples can conceive a baby in a period of two years.

But what are the main causes of infertility? It is still fully not clear why some people are infertile but for most of the people the causes can be identified. There are several causes why some women are infertile and these are some of them – ovaries do not produce eggs, endometriosis and pelvic inflammatory disease might damage or block fallopian tubes. Sometimes the mucus in the cervix can be “hostile” to the sperm. Unlike women where there can be several causes for infertility men are usually infertile because of the problems with their sperm.

In order to find the source of the problem you should take detailed physical exam and research family history. Obesity and menstrual irregularity will certainly be listed and the doctor will probably ask you about occupational hazards, eating disorders, stress, sexual intercourses, previous methods of contraception, physical activity and previous life habits like drinking alcohol, smoking and usage of medicaments. Blood tests may be conducted in order to investigate the known reasons for infertility: excessive levels of prolactin (a hormone that regulates the menstrual period), excessive levels or lack of thyroid hormone or excessive presence of androgens, such as testosterone.

If you have endometriosis, cysts or polyps, the doctor may refer you to a gynecologist or endocrinologist for evaluation and further examination.

 

When it comes to men patients, the doctor may suggest a sperm analysis. Low level of sperm or poorly motile sperm may be responsible for the situation.

If the doctor suspects that sexual problems may be the cause he may recommend therapy.

If the ovulation is a problem, there are medications that can stimulate ovulation easily. Disorders such as polycystic ovaries, endometriosis and pelvic inflammatory disease can be treated. Damaged fallopian tubes in some cases can be repaired by surgery and in vitro fertilization is another method that can be efficient in this situation.

It is very important to understand the monthly menstrual cycle because in that way you can know what days are the best for sexual intercourse and getting pregnant.

As we can see infertility is not something that can’t be treated, it just takes time and patience but the results will eventually come.